He whom I love suffers.
"I beheld, and lo! there was no man." - Jeremiah 4:25
My spouse is no more. What do I say? I am mistaken: he exists; his soul is only separated from liis body. This body has returned to dust, it is true, but not to annihilation. Faith teaches that one day, at the breath of the Lord, these particles of matter will reunite with his soul, to enjoy together the happiness purchased for him by his holy death. But in the meanwhile 'where is his soul? My heart bids me hope for his salvation, but it does not assure me of his entrance into heaven. May he not be in that place of purification lying between the abodes of sorrow and joy, where the confused sensations of happiness and misfortune combine? Ah! the remembrance of his youth, and even of our ordinary life, makes ine fear that there are faults, if not to be forgiven, at least to be atoned for. For what penance on his part have I witnessed? Very little. Oh! how I fear that the burning stream, formed of the tears of the reprobates, only separates him from the abyss where the souls undergoing purifica- tion would fear being ingulfed if they were not reassured by an unceasingly revived hope! And am I not partly the cause of his sufferings? Ah! into how many snares have my vanity and sensuality drawn him! How many of my irreligious whims have I inclined him to satisfy! Without me, how much less impatience, uncharitableness, and other faults would he have to expiate! I am therefore guilty, or, at least, it seems but right that I should partake of the expiations of which I am the cause, and, as far as in me lies and mutual love exacts, hasten their termination. If he were still on earth, with what care would I not seek to relieve the least of his evils, the smallest of his sufferings! And Faith, a more faithful and surer witness than my eyes, teaches and even asserts that he whom I love suffers, and I liave not thought of him. The resolution is taken: my widowhood will be devoted to expiating for both of us, so that we may soon be reunited in the abode of happiness without remorse, without sorrow and without end.
The Reparation of Honor
A gentleman, recently deceased, was recommended to the prayers of the Visitation Community in which his daughter was a novice. The Venerable Margaret Mary, then mistress of novices, exercised her charity in praying more particularly for the dead man. Some days after the novice recommended herself anew to her. "My child," said Margaret, "be at rest; your father is in a position that enables him to give us part of his prayers, without having need of ours." She added, "Ask your mother what generous action her husband performed before his death. It rendered favorable the judgment of God." This action was unknown to the novice and to everybody, her father having died at quite a distance from Paray. She did not see her mother till her profession, v/hen, on asking what this act of Christian generosity was, she learned that when her father was about to receive the Holy Viaticum, a butcher of the town joined those who accompanied the Blessed Sacrament, and placed himself in a corner of the room; that the sick man, having discovered him, called him by name and told him to approach, extended his hand with friendship, asked pardon with a humility uncommon to a gentleman of his condition, for some very harsh words he had addressed to the butcher some time previously, and wished that everybody could witness the satisfaction he then made.
Practice
Often ask for light to know well what is the chief source of the many imperfections which you yourself will have to expiate, and faults which are at this moment the object of expiation in Purgatory, and of which you have been the accomplice.
Prayer
Lord, I believe that this separation is not everlasting. Very soon Thou wilt demand the life that has been entrusted to me. How I desire to be of the number of those hoh' souls whose consciences reproach them not, to whom perfect charity gives hope, and who, lamenting the length of their exile, seek with ardor the dissolution of their bodies! Christian perfection patiently supports life and joyfully receives death. But I feel that the approach of death will afflict and frighten me, still so imperfect. O my God! render salutary this trial. Let the joy of faith dry the tears I shed over the body of my husband, which is separated from his soul, and grant me grace to weep tears of repentance over my soul which is separated from Thee, or which is unceasingly in danger of being drawn from Thee by sin. Make me fear Thee, Who hast power to precipitate both soul and body into eternal fire. Permit not that I efface from my memory the remembrance of death, and grant that, praying often for him whose death I mourn, I may prepare for mine, and that I may obtain the spirit of contrition, final perseverance, and charity in which I desire to die.
In thy conception, O Virgin Mary! thou wast immaculate. Pray for us to the Father Whose Son Jesus, conceived in thy womb by the Holy Ghost, thou didst bring forth.
- text taken from Month of the Dead by Father Celestin Cloquet, translated by a Sister of Mercy, with the Imprimatur of Archbishop Michael Augustine Corrigan, Archdiocese of New York, 18 October 1886