Then Judas, who betrayed Him, seeing that He was condemned, repenting himself, brought back the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the ancients, saying: "I have sinned in betraying innocent blood." But they said: "What is that to us? look thou to it." And casting down the pieces of silver in the Temple, he departed and went and hanged himself with a halter. But the chief priests, having taken the pieces of silver, said: "It is unlawful for us to put them into the corbona, because it is the price of blood." And having consulted together, they bought with them the potter's field, to be a burying-place for strangers. Wherefore that field was called Haceldama, that is, The field of blood, even to this day. Then was fulfilled that which was spoken by Jeremias the prophet, saying: 'And they took the thirty pieces of silver, the price of Him that was valued, whom they prized of the children of Israel. And they gave them unto the potter's field, as the Lord appointed to me.' - Matthew 27:3-10
1. "Then Judas, who betrayed Him." The Evangelists cannot help repeating the description. It rankles in their hearts from first to last; it stings them to think that one of themselves should have brought all this about. "Repenting himself." A strange word here! Repenting, yet not repenting; for it was a repentance which led to greater misery. No man commits sin but he repents, in one sense; he will wish in some way that it were otherwise. But the repentance which makes us merely despise ourselves for cowards and worse is not enough; there is repentance of this kind in despair.
2. "I have sinned." Judas confessed; so did the Prodigal, using the very same words; so did the penitent David; yet what a difference in the content of their words! Peter repented; yet with what a different result! Remorse is not contrition. Remorse follows on every sin so long as conscience is yet alive; it is Nature's guide to contrition; it may be made contrition by the life of love. But left alone it is merely self-disgust; it leads to despair, and despair leads to suicide, actual or virtual; how many souls have utterly destroyed themselves because they could no longer endure the sight of their own sinfulness! That remorse may become true sorrow it needs new life; new life can come only from love; of this Judas had none; the Prodigal, and David, and Magdalen, and Peter, had much; therefore much was forgiven them.
3. "What is that to us?" This is the other side of sin. Man sins against God, and appeals to God for mercy, and is forgiven; man sins to please the world, and appeals to the world for mercy, and is spurned aside. This is the very ugliest side of the world, its contempt for its own victims. It is nothing if not self-righteous. It accepts another's service in evil; it flatters the man or woman that will ruin himself or herself to please it; it pays down its due, and thereby claims that it has fulfilled all justice. But it contemns the slave who has served it; it washes its hands, its immaculate hands forsooth, of all responsibility; the soul that has submitted to be ruined must look to itself. "Am I my brother's keeper?" If my brother or my sister is willing to be ruined, is it not my brother's or my sister's fault, even if I am the cause of ruin? The quibbling, cruel world! Yet, poor world! it has enough of its own guilt to bear.
Summary
1. The meaning of barren repentance.
2. The meaning of true repentance.
3. Repentance and the two masters: God and the world.
- from The Crown of Sorrow, by Archbishop Alban Goodier