Meekness of Saint Vincent de Paul

This virtue, which is helpful in captivating hearts, cost Saint Vincent more perhaps than any other. Born with a fiery temperament and a tendency to hastiness, he was naturally inclined to anger; he took trouble in the very beginning to express the first movements, but the interior violence he had to use was betrayed by a somewhat gloomy and unpleasing manner. He therefore made a study of his own character; he saw what was wanting; he had recourse to the Lord, the only One capable, by His Grace, of reforming nature. He derived courage from the example of Saint Francis de Sales, whose extraordinary meekness struck him from the time of their first interview. At length, by stress of violence, he became so meek and so affable that on this point he would have been the most prominent example of his century, if that century had not already possessed the holy Bishop of Geneva.

"In looking at Mr. Vincent," said Mr. Tronson, "one could believe one saw Saint Paul imploring the Corinthians with the meekness and kindness of Jesus Christ."

It costs us very little to practise meekness towards those who are meek towards us; even the heathen practise it in such cases, but to practise it towards those who offend us, who contradict us and will listen to nothing, that means heroic virtue, as in the case of Saint Vincent de Paul. It often happened that on the same day he had business with persons of very high rank and with ignorant, coarse people, with people of intelligence and with rustics, with the scrupulous and with proud philosophers - in a word, with every imaginable kind of person, from the King on his throne to the shepherd in his hut. With them all he made use of those refined manners inspired by the Gospel, and which consisted in making himself all to all, to gain all to Jesus Christ, by reproducing everywhere the image of Our Lord living amongst men.

Never could one notice the slightest contraction of his features, the least bitterness in his tone, the least indication of weariness in his whole exterior. He could be seen interrupting his conversations with persons of high rank to repeat the same thing, as often as five times, to those who could not understand, and saying it as calmly the last time as the first. He listened without a shadow of impatience to poor people who knew not how to express themselves, and listened for a very long time. He allowed himself to be interrupted many times in one day by scrupulous persons, ever repeating the same thing in different words; he listened to the very end with unalterable patience, even writing to them sometimes with his own hand what he had already told them, and adding fresh explanations, if they did not understand clearly. He interrupted his breviary and his sleep in order to miss no occasion of making a sacrifice, which meant very much to a man who was absorbed by so many and such various occupations. It was specially in dealing with heretics that meekness seemed to him to be so necessary. "When we have a dispute with anyone," he said, "it frequently happens that the arguments we use often make our opponent realize that we want to have the upper hand, and that is why he prepares himself for resistance rather than for recognition of the truth; so that often enough the debate, instead of enlightening his mind, finishes by closing up the door of his heart, whereas meekness and affability would open it."

He quoted the example of Saint Francis de Sales as an evident proof of this truth, since that Bishop, he said, although most skilled in controversy, had gained more heretics over by his meekness than by his knowledge. On this heading Cardinal Du Perron said that he himself was able to convince heretics, but to convert them the Bishop of Geneva was the only one capable. "In fact," said Saint Vincent, "I have never seen nor heard tell of any heretic being converted by the force of debate nor the subtlety of argument, but by meekness, for so powerful is this virtue in gaining souls to God."

The Servant of God was equally convinced that by meekness alone was it possible to draw fruit from the country Missions. "Make yourselves affable to the poor," he said, "that is the counsel of Holy Scripture". "Such must be our rule," he said to his brethren, "otherwise they feel repulsed and dare not approach us, thinking we are too severe or too high up for them, and thus the work of God will perish, and we could not carry out the designs He has upon us. If God gave blessings to our first Missions it was remarked that this was because we had acted humbly and simply with all kinds of persons; and if it has pleased God to make use of the most inefficient for the conversion of heretics, they themselves owned that it was patience and cordiality which had won them over. Even the slaves with whom I have lived are not gained in any other way; if I ever happened to speak to them dryly I spoiled everything; and on the contrary, when I praised them for their resignation, when I pitied them in their sufferings, when I told them they were happy to be doing their Purgatory in this world, when I kissed their chains, it was then they listened to me, that they gave Glory to God and put themselves in a state of salvation. I beg you, sir, to help me to give thanks to God for this, and to ask Him that it may please Him to grant that all the Missioners may treat their neighbour sweetly, charitably and humbly, both in public and in private; and even sinners and hardened souls, without ever making use of invectives or reproaches or hard words against anyone."

The Saint's meekness was founded on this double principle: "The Words and Example of Our Saviour; the Knowledge of Human Weakness." With regard to the former, he said that meekness and humility are two sisters that agree very well together; that Jesus Christ has taught us not to separate them when He says, "Learn of Me, for I am Meek and Humble of Heart". And He supported these words by His Example. Thus He willed that His disciples should be humble and subject to many failings . . . to teach those who are in exalted positions how to treat those under their direction. "One could not," he added, "see the Meekness of Our Lord in His Passion without being attracted to this virtue; for example, when He gave the name of 'friend' to the traitor Judas; when he bore, without the least complaint, the cruelty of the soldiers, who spat in His Face or insulted Him in His Sufferings. Oh! Jesus, my God!" he exclaimed, "what an example for us who have resolved to imitate Thee! And what a humiliation for those who will not bear anything, or get impatient and bitter when they have something to suffer!"

As to the second principle, Saint Vincent said that it is in the nature of man to fall, just as the nature of brambles is to have prickles; . . . that the just man falls seven times - that is to say, many times a day; that the mind of man has its bad times and sicknesses, like the body; that man often needs great patience to put up with himself, and that consequently it is not strange he should exercise patience towards others; for, as Saint Gregory has remarked, true justice knows compassion, but not anger nor rage. Hence he concluded that meekness was necessary in all circumstances of life. "Words which wound us," he continued, "are far oftener sallies of nature than from bad dispositions of the heart; the wisest people are not exempt from passions, and these passions cause them sometimes to give way to expressions which they regret a moment later. In whatever place we are we must suffer, but since we are able to merit at the same time, it is very useful to have a provision of meekness stored up, for without this virtue we suffer without any merit, and not without danger to our salvation.

"There are many acts of meekness," added the Saint, "which may be reduced to three principal ones. The first of these acts represses movements of anger; the outbreaks of that fire which troubles the soul and makes it change colour. A meek man does not cease to feel the first movement of passion because the movements of nature anticipate those of grace, but he remains firm that he may not be carried away, and if in spite of himself something appears exteriorly, he quickly pulls himself together and returns to his natural state. If he is obliged to reprove or correct, he is led by duty, and not by passion. In this he imitates the Son of God, Who called Saint Peter 'Satan'; Who on the same occasion spoke of the Jews as 'hypocrites,' ten or twelve times; who overthrew the tables of the money-changers; Who did all this with perfect calmness, whereas a man devoid of meekness would have done it in anger."

According to Saint Vincent the second act of meekness consists in great affability, and that serenity of expression which puts all those at their ease who approach us. "Hence it is that some people, who have a smiling and pleasant manner, please everybody, God having given them this grace by which they seem to offer their heart to you and to ask for yours. There are others, like myself, who are rough and have an oppressed, sad, surly appearance, which frightens and even disconcerts people. The Missioners, who by their vocation have to exercise their ministry amongst the country people, amongst candidates for Ordination and those making spiritual Retreats, will be wise to adopt these insinuating manners, which captivate hearts. Otherwise they will obtain no fruit and will be like barren soil, which produces nothing but thistles."

Finally, the third act of meekness, according to Saint Vincent, consists in driving from our mind those reflections which present themselves after we have experienced some trouble, or had some ill service rendered us. We must then accustom ourselves to turn our mind away from the so-called grievance and excuse the author, and say to ourselves: "He did it through hastiness; he was carried away by the first impulse." Above all, we must be on our guard against opening our lips to answer those who are only seeking an occasion to be irritated. Meekness not only makes us excuse the affronts and injustices we receive, but it will also make us treat with affability those who are guilty of them, and if they should go so far as to give us a blow we should suffer it for God's sake.

"We must also repress outbursts of anger and prefer the language of meekness to any other, for sometimes only one sweet word suffices to convert a hardened soul; and, on the contrary, one rough word may cause the loss of a soul. Only three times in my life have I made use of rough words when reproving or correcting others, thinking that I had a right to act in that manner, and I always repented of it, because I failed miserably; and, on the contrary, I have always obtained what I desired through meekness."

Meekness, which always charms, had in this holy man something indescribably candid, spiritual and delicate, so that one could not resist him. One day he was conversing with several persons of high rank; one of them, amongst other imprecations, told him "to go to the devil." At these words the Saint smiled and drew him gently into his arms, saying: "Well, sir, I place you in God's Hands, because it would be a great pity that the devil should take hold of you." These few words edified the company, and so greatly touched him to whom they were addressed that he promised to abstain henceforth from such expressions.

The meekness of the Saint never lessened that stability and vigour which a man like himself could not dispense with. "There are no persons," he said, "more constant and courageous in all that is good than the meek and compliant; whilst, on the contrary, those who allow themselves to be carried away by anger and irascible passions are usually very inconstant. The former resemble those rivers which flow noiselessly, tranquilly, and are never dried up; the latter resemble torrents that have no force or impetuosity except in time of floods. . . . These men act only in fits and starts, and therefore very clumsily. What must we do, then, to succeed in the things of God? We must always imitate in our conduct the Wisdom of God, and attain our ends mightily, as He Himself does, but by ways full of sweetness and meekness: 'Attingit a fine usque ad finem fortiter, et disponit omnia suaviter.'"

Saint Vincent united strength with meekness, and sought no other support but virtue, no other diplomacy but his faith; he upheld, even at Court, the rights of truth, and never promised what his conscience would not permit him to carry out. He was insensible to the most pressing solicitations; friendship or gratitude never made him compromise; never in his whole life did he on any occasion say yes when duty obliged him to say no. We could quote many proofs on this point. Monsignor Fenelon speaks for all; this Bishop declares, in his letter to Clement XI, that "discerning of spirits and resolute courage were gifts which shone in the man of God to such a degree that was almost incredible; in giving advice he made no account of the discontent or anger of the great, but solely of the interests of Holy Church."

Many other facts show us equally clearly that Saint Vincent de Paul had no fear on earth, except the fear of God. We read of him that, laying aside all rules of human prudence, he went in search of a father, not to congratulate him on the nomination of his son to a Bishopric, but to conjure him not to permit this son to accept a dignity of which he was not worthy. We read that he refused, for reasons of his own, a nobleman, as well as a princess, permission to visit a convent of which he was Superior. We read also that he took upon himself all the odium of these refusals, thus exposing himself to much resentment.

Other similar facts show us that Saint Vincent must have been, like the ancient prophets, a "wall of brass," offering solid resistance, without, however, deviating in the least from the path of obedience.

Practice - Let fathers and mothers and other superiors learn how to repress those transports of anger which are apt to master them; let them rather show affability and meekness towards those who are confided to them, especially when it is question of giving advice on matters of religion; and they will see that their observations and advice will have much better effect.

- text taken from Virtue and Christian Refinement According to the Spirit of Saint Vincent de Paul, by Saint John Bosco