Pure love is the love of God, unmixed with the love of self. Thus, from whatever motive we may produce an act of love to God, whether on account of His infinite perfections or from a motive of hope or of gratitude, this act is pure as long as it is not stained with self-love. God alone knows if we love Him sincerely and purely. And He has thought fit to conceal this knowledge from us on purpose to keep us humble and in an entire trust in Him.
Self-love is therefore the great enemy of pure love; these two loves cannot exist together; one must necessarily exclude the other.
Now, what is self-love? It is that love of ourselves which begins and ends with ourselves, and which has not God for its final end. This self-love intrudes even into spiritual things, when we love virtue, and the gifts of God, and the holiness of God, and God Himself, only for our own sakes, or for the enjoyment we find in these things, or for the advantage we derive from them, in one word, when we set up our own selves as the centre and object of our affections. Now when this self-love carries us to desire grievously forbidden things and to seek after them, it becomes mortal sin. But it is only venial sin or mere imperfection when it attaches us to objects which are really good and holy in themselves, and when it still gives to God the love of preference which is due to Him, because in this case the disorder is not in the foundation and essence of our love, but in our manner of loving.
The love of God is always infinitely pure in its source, which is no other than God Himself. It is pure, although in different degrees, in the angels and the blessed souls in Heaven. It is a most certain truth, that self-love can never enter Heaven; our heart must be purified from it either in this life or in purgatory.
As the ordinary course of grace is to draw us to God by a certain sweetness and sensible fervour, our love for God in the beginning is almost always mixed with self-love; and God is not offended at this mixture then, because it is a necessary consequence of our misery. He even makes use of this self-love then to detach us from the things of earth, and to give us a taste for those of Heaven; He makes use of it, in these beginnings, to induce us to make a quantity of sacrifices which otherwise we could not make. It is really the love of God which leads us on to detachment and sacrifices and the practice of prayer and mortification; but if self-love did not also find something to feed upon, which seems very delicious, and quite superior to all the pleasures of earth, never should we embrace the interior life.
The love of beginners is not then entirely pure, and, as a general rule, it cannot be so and ought not to be so. But by degrees God purifies this love on His part, and He teaches the soul to purify it on her part. God takes away from time to time, and sometimes for a long period, all sensible consolation: we become dry and distracted in prayer and at Holy Communion, our enjoyment of spiritual things, our extreme fervour, our transports of love, become very rare, and last but a short time. The soul at first is very unhappy; she thinks God has forsaken her; she is tempted to give up everything. But if indeed she did give up everything, it would be a proof that she was only mercenary, and that she was only loving and seeking herself in her devotion. Instead of which, if she remains faithful through all these times of dryness, if she relaxes nothing, if she gives to God with the same generosity all He asks of her, then she begins realty to love God for Himself alone, and not for the sake of His gifts. These are the first purifications of Divine love.
After longer or shorter alternations of consolation and dryness, if the soul is really noble and generous, God takes away sensible fervour from her altogether, and only allows her to taste His love most rarely, and for one moment, as it were. A love thus despoiled and naked becomes constantly purer and more simple. The soul feels no longer either that she loves or that she is loved; she perceives it no more, she reflects upon it no more. Nevertheless all the time she is loving infinitely better and more intensely than ever, but without the slightest thought of herself, self-love can find nothing more to attach itself to. The creature disappears and leaves to God the whole heart. In this state the soul produces rarely formal acts; she lives in the simple and continual exercise of one act of love. The proof that she loves is no longer in her feeling it, but in her utter forgetfulness of herself; she no longer enters into her interior to see what is passing there or to enjoy it, but she withdraws farther and farther away from herself to bury and lose herself in God.
But these even are not yet the greatest purification of love. This is done, 1st, by temptations, which seem to destroy in us all virtues, when in reality they are only strengthening and perfecting our virtue. Temptations against purity, temptations against faith, temptations against hope, temptations against charity to our neighbour, temptations to impiety and blasphemy, often an upheaval of all the passions. But all this passes on the borderland of the soul, the soul is not really affected by it; but she does not know that; she fancies she has consented, and however much she may be reassured and comforted, she lives in a constant fear of having sinned. Behold her, then, clothed and covered and penetrated with the conviction of her own misery: she sees nothing in herself but filth and corruption, she is very far now from loving or esteeming herself, she despises herself, she hates herself, she looks upon herself as a monster! Can you not see now that self-love is not only not acting any longer in that soul, and staining her actions and motives, but it is even changed into a disposition totally opposite? It is the love of God, and the purest love of Him, that has produced this effect, for the soul only hates herself in this manner because she fancies she has offended God, and because she believes herself to be the greatest of sinners. But oh! how far she is now from consenting to sin! She would prefer hell. Yet the misery she experiences persuades her that she is nothing but sin and abomination; and God only puts her in this state to inspire her with a holy hatred of herself founded on her detestation of sin. What a beautiful act of contrition is this hatred! And how it expiates in a manner most pleasing to God not only the actual sins of that soul, but those she might otherwise have committed!
2nd. The love of God is purified by humiliations. This same soul, who a little time before may have passed as a saint in a whole community or a whole town, sees herself suddenly attacked on all sides by calumny. Everyone loses the good opinion they had of her; she is looked upon as a hypocrite; her most innocent words have a bad interpretation put upon them, her most holy actions are considered criminal; every one abandons her, every one shuns her; her friends, even her most intimate and confidential friends, turn against her, and she is condemned by the voice of authority. Nevertheless, in the midst of all she keeps silence, she allows herself to be judged and condemned. Thus, to the accusation of her own conscience, which persuades her she is guilty, is joined the witness of men who treat her as if she were guilty. She has no idea of feeling hatred or resentment against them; and although she is innocent of all the things they accuse her of, she believes that she quite deserves all the ill-treatment she receives at their hands. What becomes of her self-love then? It finds no more support, either from the testimony of her own conscience or from the opinion of men. Everything is arrayed against it, within and without; the love of God, which is always growing purer and purer, pursues self-love, drives it out entirely, and leaves it no place of refuge.
3rd. The last purification of love is caused by God Himself forsaking the soul. Persecuted self-love seemed at least to have this refuge left. God Himself takes it away. At the same time that He delivers the soul up to the fear of her apparent sins, and to very real humiliations on the part of men, He treats her Himself as a severe judge; He seems to reject her and to leave her to herself. His justice deals her the most terrible blows; she thinks she is lost, and lost without hope. What a state! How terrible it is! how desperate for self-love! Self-love struggles hard, and defends itself as well as it can behind its last rampart. But at last it must give way; it must yield; God is the strongest; and by a last sacrifice, which is the fruit of the purest love, self-love is torn out of the soul even to its smallest root. And by this sacrifice, the love of God is absolutely freed from all admixture, and reigns alone in the heart from which it has banished its enemy.
These are the three degrees by which Divine love attains to its final purification. It is a mistake to say or to think that during all these trials the soul loses the virtue of hope. This virtue is never really lost, even during the most violent temptations to despair: God and the devil may be recognised by their works. The devil begins by temptations to pride, and finishes by enslaving the soul to the sins of the flesh. God attacks the flesh first of all, and finishes by annihilating pride, making use sometimes, for this end, of the temptations of the flesh.
For the state of pure love therefore to exclude hope is quite impossible, and to maintain that it does is a formal heresy.
- taken from Manual for Interior Souls, by Father Jean Nicolas Grou