We have only to read the Psalm cxviii. to see at each verse how necessary the Divine light is for us during the whole course of the interior life. "Give me understanding" says David, "that I may know Thy commandments" And again he says, "Give me understanding, and I shall live."
To be thoroughly convinced of this necessity, we must know first that human reason is strangely obscured and dimmed since original sin overshadowed it; and secondly, that the most enlightened reason would not be sufficient of itself to guide us in the way of grace, a way of which God keeps the secret to Himself. As His intention is that we should always walk in the spirit of faith, He only enlightens us gradually as we go on step by step, and only just so much as is necessary for our present needs. He does not wish us to look before us, or even around us, but He always gives us enough light to convince us that it is impossible for us to go astray if we will only follow Him, even though we may seem to be in the midst of a thick darkness.
The first thing, then, which a soul ought to do, when she wishes to belong entirely to God, is to renounce her own spirit, and all the ideas she may have formed beforehand on the subject of virtue and sanctity, being persuaded that these ideas are either false or very imperfect; not to think she can guide herself, nor judge of things by her own light, nor constitute herself a judge of the way in which her director guides her. All these pretensions will end by filling her with pride and presumption, by withdrawing her from obedience, by leading her astray, and perhaps by ruining her eternally; instead of which it is quite impossible for a soul who has renounced her own judgment entirely, who listens to the voice of God within her, and to the teaching of her director from without, whom she willingly obeys in all that is not sin, it is impossible, I say, for such a soul to run any risk of falling into delusion. God, in Whom she places all her trust, is interested in never allowing anything of the kind, and such a thing has never happened.
After this she must humbly pray for the Divine light, begging of God to enlighten her from one moment to another; she must never undertake anything of importance without consulting God, and without asking the advice of him whom God has given her for a guide.
The light of God is generally very abundant in the beginning. We receive it in prayer, and in Holy Communion; we are surprised at being able to understand books which treat of the spiritual life, and to see clearly in things of which we understood nothing before. This light is a sure light, and bears with it an evidence which leaves us no room for doubt. We feel that it is an infused light, and that we owe it neither to our natural intelligence nor to our careful application, nor to our continual efforts. More than this, it is accompanied by a sweetness and fervour which feeds and elevates and ravishes the soul as well as enlightening her. As this Divine light is never the fruit of our own reflections, we must receive it passively, without reasoning upon it, without striving to retain it, or to recall it when it is passing away. At the moment it is given to us it has its effect; and when there is a necessity for making use of this effect God will bring back the memory of it to us, or He will give us the same grace again. But He does not wish us to appropriate it to ourselves, as if it were an acquired science, nor does He wish us always to have it at our own disposal. The Spirit of God cannot be constrained nor subject to the will of a creature.
We must therefore let it come and go as God pleases, and believe that it will never be wanting to us when we have real need of it. We may sometimes write down the lights and graces we have received, to communicate them to our confessor, when they have to do with some particular object; but to write them down only to refresh our own memory, or even to assist ourselves when we think it necessary, this is what we must never do, for it would be showing a certain want of trust in God. It might perhaps, however, be done, if a person were very far advanced in the spiritual life, and if he were writing, in obedience to his director, more for the instruction of others than for himself.
We must be very careful also in these beginnings, when we are, as it were, surrounded with Divine light, never to speak about such things to others, even if we think we are speaking for God, or to guide and instruct others. This is a temptation we must always resist. A very special vocation from God is necessary before we attempt to guide our neighbour, particularly when we are not called to it by our state of life. And more than this, the light which is suitable for us may not be suitable for others, because God may be leading them by a different way.
Finally, we shall most certainly exhaust ourselves if we are always communicating our graces to the exterior world. But this does not mean to say that we are never to try to bring people to God, by our conversation and example, when we see them in good dispositions, and when they give us an opportunity of influencing them for good.
The use of the Divine light, either for ourselves or for others, is an extremely delicate and difficult matter, and presupposes a real death to ourselves. This is why we must never be the first to decide for ourselves, nor must we always receive as a Divine inspiration whatever comes into our mind with the semblance of good. Saint Paul tells us that Satan can transform himself into an angel of light; he very often mixes himself up with the Divine operations, acting upon the imagination at the same time that God is acting in the understanding and the will. We are therefore very liable to be deceived in all those things that are called interior locutions, attractions and inspirations; and we must always submit all those sort of things to the judgment of our confessor, waiting for his decision before we make any use of them.
To act of our own will and by our own judgment in anything of this kind, is to fall directly into the snares of the enemy.
To dispose ourselves to receive the Divine light, we must, as much as we possibly can, never listen to our imagination, never rest on our own understanding, and have an extreme distrust of our own reflections and reasonings. We can scarcely believe how very little God communicates Himself to those who wish to be always reflecting, always reasoning. The best use we can make of our own reason in the things of God is to command it to keep silence before Him, and to keep it always in a state of annihilation. It is to the "little ones," to those who are like children in their simplicity and purity, that God communicates Himself freely. He has no regard for mere acquired knowledge, profound wisdom, or the natural light of the intellect; He wishes us to trample all that under foot when we wish to come to Him; He wishes us to renounce all that we have learnt from other sources, and humbly to be taught by Him alone. Such a man was Saint Augustine, the greatest doctor of the Church. He consulted God in everything with the simplicity of a child.
Such are not those people who, with minds very inferior to his, set themselves up as judges of the ways of God and of His dealings with souls. They will not be persuaded, as the Gospel teaches them, that the first step we must take, if we wish to understand the things of God, is to humble ourselves, and to confess that of ourselves we can understand nothing to pray to Him, and to have recourse to Him as the only source of all light.
If it is true, as the Prophet Isaias says, that the thoughts of God are as far removed from the thoughts of man as the heavens are from the earth, how can we presume to build upon our own light in spiritual things? Why is our mind not continually overwhelmed with confusion before God? Why do we not incessantly open the "door of our heart," as David says, to breathe in and draw to ourselves the Spirit of God? What is the adoration of "God in spirit and in truth," if it is not this constant and practical confession that God alone is Light and Truth, and that we are nothing but darkness and lies?
This is, it seems to me, the true homage of the mind, and is also an infallible means of never going astray.
Let us then say to God, "Give me understanding, that I may know Thy commandments. It is impossible for me to practise them if I do not understand them, and I cannot understand them if Thou dost not give me the intelligence to do so. How can I understand what it is to love Thee with all my mind, with all my heart, and with all my strength? Who but Thou, O my God! can penetrate the depths of this precept, and communicate the knowledge of it to Thy creature? Who but Thou, also, can make me understand what it is to love my neighbour as myself? Do I know, can I know, in what way Thou hast commanded me to love myself? And if I do not know how I am to love myself, can I know what is the love I owe to my neighbour? Nevertheless, the whole law is contained in these two precepts. It is evident then, that unless I willfully blind myself, I understand nothing of Thy law, and can understand nothing, if Thou Thyself dost not enlighten me!
But Thy law is the source of life, of the true life, of the eternal life; we cannot gain this life without practising Thy law; and the more perfectly we practise it the more shall we enjoy that true life, which is none other than the possession of Thyself. Give me then understanding, and I shall live. Yes, O my God and my All! grant me to understand the necessity of Thy love, and the extent of Thy love; grant me to understand how in the love of Thee is contained the love I ought to have for myself and the love I ought to have for my neighbour. Give me this Divine light, that, assisted by Thy grace, I may practise Thy whole law; then I shall practise it in all its fullness, and I shall attain to the fullness of the true life the life eternal! Amen.
- taken from Manual for Interior Souls, by Father Jean Nicolas Grou