The spiritual life is nothing else than a sort of commerce, an exchange between God and the soul. God gives that He may receive, and receives that He may give: so it is with the soul. God gives first; and He also gives last. He presents the soul with His grace, in time; He gives the soul His glory for ever, in eternity. This grace and this glory are a direct communication, more or less perfect, from God Himself.
The soul, on her part, also gives herself to God; she sacrifices to Him her tastes, her inclinations, her will, her own interest; in one word, she gives herself entirely to God, that He may dispose of her every moment according to His good pleasure. This is what she does, or at least what she ought to do, in this life. In the other life she can do nothing, she is no longer free; she does not give herself, she is enraptured and carried away: she belongs no more to herself, but to the sovereign Good who possesses her, and whom she possesses. Oh! most blessed and glorious possession! Who shall speak of it!
Therefore, between God and the soul there is no question of free exchange, except during this life. Let us now see what, on the part of God, are the laws of this holy commerce, and what are the laws which the soul on her part must observe, that she may respond to the ineffable goodness of God.
The first law. God always makes the first advance; He must always do this in everything. "Who has given to thee first?" exclaims Saint Paul. This is easily to be perceived in the order of nature, where we derive our being from God every moment of our lives, and with our being that which tends to its preservation.
The same thing is no less true in the supernatural order: everything there begins by grace, either justifying grace or actual grace, which is a gift of God, a free and purely gratuitous gift, which it is impossible for us to merit. If, after having lost the grace of our baptism, we regain it by penance, it is God Who makes the first advance to recall us to Himself; for when we are once separated from Him by sin, we can never of ourselves draw near to Him again. If we preserve the grace of our baptism, it is simply by virtue of the actual graces which we receive every moment. It is an article of faith, that for every supernatural act we must receive a special grace, which goes before and accompanies that action; and God will never refuse us such a grace, unless it is to punish us for infidelity to and neglect of graces He has given us before. Thus, it remains an incontestable truth, that God begins everything in us, and this ought to be so, since He is always and in every case the source of all good.
Hence the law as regards the creature here can only be a law of correspondence and of fidelity. God goes before: the creature must follow; God gives: she must carefully preserve; God graciously deigns to ask something of His creature: she must generously grant all He asks of her. How could a just exchange and commerce take place if she received all without giving anything in return, or if she did not give in proportion as she receives? There is also a law of gratitude on the part of the creature, gratitude to the God Whose benefits prevent and follow her incessantly; and a gratitude full of humility, because she sees plainly that she deserves nothing, and that by her constant falls she is even more worthy to be abandoned entirely than to be sought after and assisted by grace.
The second law. The gifts of God are perfectly disinterested; He has nothing to gain for Himself in all His goodness to us. If He requires a return on our part, it is not for His own advantage, it is for ours. The good use which we shall make of His grace is not even the motive which induces Him to grant it to us. How many graces has He given us which we have neglected and abused, and He foresaw that we should abuse them! This foresight of our unfaithfulness did not arrest the course of His benefits. What goodness! What disinterestedness!
The soul can never respond to this law, except very imperfectly. Because it is impossible for her not to gain in what she gives to God: therefore she ought not to and cannot entirely renounce her own interest. All that she can do, in proportion as grace solicits her, is not to dwell too much on her own interest; never to bargain with God; never to think she is doing too much; never to refuse anything to God under a pretext that she is not obliged to do it, and that He does not absolutely require it; not to be too much attached to His gifts, or to regret them too much when He chooses to take them away, but to be always generous and faithful when God sees fit to try her love; and finally, in great temptations and desolations, when she thinks herself hopelessly lost, to continue patiently to serve God, and to do those things which she knows are pleasing to Him.
By this disinterestedness she imitates, in some slight degree, that of God; she loves Him, she serves Him; she gives to Him, for His own sake alone, without seeking herself at all; and this is what gives most glory to God, of all the service which His creature can render to Him; this is what He will reward above all things with an infinite liberality.
But He often conceals from the soul the sight or thought of this reward, that He may purify her motives and increase her merit. This is an admirable artifice of Divine love of which few indeed know the secret.
The third law. The gifts of God are "without repentance" It is Holy Scripture which tells us so. He never regrets, He never takes back what He has once given; He does not even reproach the soul for the gift if she abuses it; He simply reproaches her for the abuse she has made of His gift, and is ready to load her with still greater benefits, if she will only return to Him in sincerity. See how He treated David, how He treated Saint Peter, and many others, after their conversion! See what a welcome this good Father gives to the prodigal son on his return: how He restores all to him, and even adds new favours! The just themselves might almost be jealous of the tender and kind treatment He shows to penitent sinners.
This is the great law for the creature. Sunk as she is in self-love, low, mean, and interested, when God does not pay her as she expects for sacrifices, often very insignificant and light, when she does not immediately see in her hands the recompense for her good works, she dares to complain that God is not faithful; she regrets what she has given to Him; she even goes so far sometimes as to reproach Him. Ah! what an indignity! Where should we be if God treated us like this, if He withdrew His grace when we did not respond to it, or if He refused it to us because He foresaw how we should abuse it? Let us give, like Him, without ever repenting of it; let us give, without ever thinking afterwards of what we have given; let us forget what we have given already, and only think of what still remains for us to give; let us regret that we cannot give more; let us not be content until we have given all, entirely and without reserve. What does it matter to us whether God appears to accept our gifts or not? What does it matter to us if He seems to make no account of them, and after all our sacrifices only treats us with more severity? Is that what we are to consider? No. There is only one thing to consider. Does He wish us to make such and such a sacrifice? Does He deserve it? Yes, undoubtedly. If it is so, all is said for a generous soul.
The fourth law. God never forsakes, if He is not forsaken. He is the first to give, but He is not the first to withdraw. On the contrary, He long seeks after the creature who has forsaken Him. His patience is never weary; and so long as a spark of life remains to the greatest sinner, God will always leave him sufficient grace to return to Himself. What faithfulness!
This is the most beautiful model for the soul which has given herself to God. God will never forsake me; then I will never forsake Him. I am sure of Him; then I ought to neglect nothing, that He may be sure of me. Alas! I find nothing to be sure of in myself; I cannot answer for myself for one single instant. Nothing is more inconstant or weaker than my will. Today I protest to God that I will always be faithful to Him; to-morrow perhaps I shall deny Him. This is what should keep me in a continual distrust of myself, this is what should make me resolve once for all to give into God's keeping this liberty, which I am liable to abuse at any moment. This is what should make me inviolably faithful to His least grace. If I neglect one, voluntarily and with deliberation, what have I not to fear, from God, and from myself? from God, Who may grow cold towards me, and Who may take away from me all His graces, in order to punish me; from myself, who may become still weaker, still more ready to fall? Ah! Lord, I hope that Your goodness will pardon all my faults of weakness, of inadvertence, of first impulse; but I beseech of You never to allow me to commit a fault, deliberately and with purpose to offend You; never willfully to resist one single grace; never to refuse what you ask of me, whatever it may be. I have all to fear from myself; and for this reason, fully and with my whole heart, I place my liberty in Your hands, that You may govern and dispose of me in all things. The crowning grace of all graces is a constant fidelity; I implore it of You, O my God! and whatever it may cost me to obtain it, I shall never think I have bought it too dearly. So may I observe exactly all the laws of the holy commerce which is between You and me, as You observe so strictly those which Your infinite goodness has imposed upon Yourself! This is all I beg of You, and I leave my future, without fear, to Your infinite mercy!
- taken from Manual for Interior Souls, by Father Jean Nicolas Grou